Hospital Memories

Hey everyone!  I'm alive and well!!!

I have so much to be grateful for.  It has been 4 weeks since my surgery!  It has been quite the journey.  I'm getting stronger everyday and on my way back to normal life. I'd like to share a few of my memories and insights during recovery, and try to answer a few questions I've been asked a lot.   This post will be about my hospital memories, and the next one will be about the next few weeks recovering at my parents' house.

Before Surgery (Friday, Jan. 23)

The morning of the surgery, I was amazed at how peaceful I felt.  We had to be at the hospital by 7 am (not 5:45 am like they originally said, thank goodness!!).  I know that I felt so much peace because I had a wonderful priesthood blessing the night before.  I could really feel the Holy Ghost with me, and throughout this whole 3 month experience I have often felt the presence of my loved ones who have died watching over me.

We got to the hospital and checked in.  I changed into my hospital gown and then waited in my hospital bed.  My parents, Justin and his parents and siblings, and my Aunt Nettie, Uncle James and my cousin Marky were there with me while I waited. We took some pictures (see Justin's last post) and chatted.   My twin sister Brooke couldn't be there with me, but she and I had a great talk on the phone right before I went into the operation room.

Nurses and anesthesiologists came in to put in IVs and answer any last minute questions.  Then I said good-bye to my family and they wheeled me to the operating room.  In the operating room, it was really cold, but they covered me up with blankets warm from a dryer, which I thought was such a nice, considerate thing!  Everyone was joking around and really nice.  They assured me that my head, eyes, etc. would all be protected during the surgery.  The last thing I remember is the anesthesiologist saying, "I'm about to start looking a lot more handsome," and then he put an oxygen mask over my nose and mouth and I gradually drifted off to sleep.

After Surgery

I don't remember anything after that until I woke up.  When I woke up it didn't feel like any time had passed.   I was laying on my back, and initially I didn't feel any pain.  I remember being in a different room and having lots of doctors and nurses around, and they started asking me questions, like if I knew where I was and what the date was.  I think I said, "It's January 23, it's my husband's birthday."  and then I must have talked about Justin a lot, because when he came in, they said "We know all about you!"  Justin said they knew what he does for work and lots of other stuff.  I don't remember saying any of that though haha.

After a while, my mom and Justin came in.  (Only two were allowed at a time because I was in the Neuro Critical Care Unit- like the ICU).  I was so happy to see them.  I asked my mom what my hair looked like and she said they had put it in a braid on top of my head


 They told me the surgery had gone really well, and that Dr. Schmidt had found that the pressure against my skull from the CM was so great that the part of my skull they removed was paper thin.  This indicated that the pressure had been very severe for a very long time.  Things were going great and I was feeling really good until about 10 minutes later.  I was hit with a wave a nausea.  My mom and Justin helped me sit up and grabbed a bowl so I could vomit.  This caused pressure and pain in my head that was incredibly intense.  I vaguely remember yelling and crying, making quite a ruckus. My mom put a cold rag on my forhead and gave me a light massage, which really helped.  I eventually calmed down and was probably given a lot of medicine for nausea and pain.  I'm glad that the memories of that are pretty vague.

When I was stable, I asked to see everyone else, so my dad, Paul and Pauline, Carlee, Lauren, Cameron (Justin's parent's and siblings), Maddie (my little sis, who came straight from classes), Nettie and James, Marky, Kelsey (aunt and cousins), and Jordan and Daniel (Justin's best friends) all came in one by one.  The day after, Justin's brother AJ visited, as well as my twin Brooke and her husband Grant, who had been on a much-deserved vacation!  I was so happy to see all of them.

After that I slept for a while.  I woke up to another wave of nausea, pain and vomiting like before.  I remember thinking, "This needs to stop right now" and feeling scared because it kept hurting.  Justin and my mother-in-law Pauline were there in the room with me.  They held my hands and said the right things to help me get through it and remember it wouldn't last forever. 

I don't remember much more of that night except still feeling crummy with nausea, but I don't think I had anymore vomiting.  I remember Dr Schmidt, my surgeon coming in to check on me.  He said all the nausea and pain I had experienced was normal and would probably continue for a while, but that I would eventually experience a lot of relief since my CM had been very severe.  Justin spent the night with me, and my family arrived early again the next morning.

Days 2, 3 and 4 (Saturday, Sunday and Monday)

The next morning some physical therapists came and helped me get up and walk to the toilet!  My legs felt really shaky, but it was good to be on my feet again.  I started becoming aware of the changes in my body.  My neck and shoulders were very stiff.   I was amazed at all the cords and things  that were taped all over my chest and back, and the IVs in both of my hands.  One cool thing is that after my surgery when I was still under anesthesia, they put catheters directly into my neck muscles on the sides of my incision.  A ball hung from it down my back that constantly injected pain medicine for the 3 days after my surgery.  It was annoying trying to keep it out of the way when laying down and things, but it helped keep a lot of nausea and pain at bay, for which I was very grateful!  They had these compression wraps around my legs so that I wouldn't develop blood clots.  All through the day and night they would squeeze my legs.  The first or second night, in my delirium, I thought it was one of my parents' dogs laying next to me breathing in and out.  Cute :)  haha.

Later on that day, they moved me into a normal hospital room in the Neuro-Acute Unit.  It was a larger room meant for recovery.  It became a little more difficult at this point as I was more and more conscious and aware of the pain.

Sitting up to eat made me very nauseous, and a lot of the time I didn't feel like eating.  Justin and my family members spoon fed me a lot (thanks guys!).  Anytime I needed to get up, roll over in bed, or move in any way, Justin or a nurse had to help me do every little thing very slowly and re-arrange all my cords and IV's.  I also felt like I was constantly getting shots- they tested my blood sugar every few hours, so all my fingers had little poke marks on them; they gave me lots of bruise-inducing shots in my stomach to prevent blood clots.  I know they were all necessary and I'm grateful for modern medicine, but it still hurt!  After the 2nd day, my hips started hurting a lot because I was always laying on my side.  Getting up to walk the halls caused a lot of pain in my neck and the front of my head.  I always just wanted to lay down with ice on the back of my neck and my forehead, because that brought the most relief.

So, yes, it was very hard and painful BUT...

It was also a beautiful time because of how close I felt to all of my caretakers.  Justin was an absolute wonder, never leaving my side, doing every little thing he could for me, not the least of which was always holding my hospital gown in place when I'd get up to keep me decent!!  Those things are the devil haha.  He was never annoyed when I'd wake him up multiple times during the night to help me go to the bathroom, turn over in my hospital bed, or ring for more pain medicine or ice.  One time when I was feeling really discouraged and in a lot of pain, he gave me a priesthood blessing.  My parents and family and Justin's amazing family were always nearby in the waiting room keeping vigil, even when I didn't feel like seeing anyone.  Just knowing they were there helped a lot.  The first time I saw my twin, Brooke, it was a joyful occasion!  There were lots of times her husband Grant watched their two little kids so she could spend time with me.  Her presence was so comforting.  I know that I am so blessed to have such an amazing support system.  Not everybody has that, and I am so grateful.

I also get really emotional when I think about the nurses that attended me.  There was one named Carolyn who was new on the floor, so she was being trained.  She was so kind and compassionate.  My mom and I loved her!  She kept checking in, and did a lot to get my medicine dosages right for my pain and to help me get my bowels moving.  She stayed an extra hour because she was in the middle of helping me with stuff, and I was so sad when she had to leave!  What an amazing lady!  There was another nurse named Garland, who was an awesome guy!  He was with us during the night, and he really took the time to be a friend to Justin and I.  He was really quick to help us with anything we needed.  There were so many others that I could name.

Although walking and getting up was tough, every time I did, I was happy because I knew it was progress.  A couple of times when I was walking around the halls, Dr. Schmidt would walk by and walk with me a few minutes to see how I was doing, and give me tips for being more comfortable.  He took the bandage over my incision off one time while I met him walking.  I worked a lot on keeping my shoulders down in their normal position, because it was (and still is) the natural tendency to hunch them up towards my neck to alleviate pain from the incision.

On the third day (Monday), we were all a little hesitant of whether or not I should go home, as I was still dealing with a lot of nausea and pain.  But we decided it would be best, since it would allow me to sleep through the night better and such.  It was wonderful as they took out each IV, cord and attachment!  I felt so free!  We timed it so that I would go home an hour after I took my dosages of pain medicine, so at 9 pm that night they loaded me into the car with pillows all around me and Justin drove me to my parents' house, where we would be staying for a while.

All in all, the whole hospital experience was an amazing, emotional experience where I learned a lot of profound lessons.  I know that my Heavenly Father was with me every step of the way, and that my Savior Jesus Christ knew every pain I felt.  I'll never be able to repay them for my life and the comfort and blessings they keep sending me!!  I'm so grateful to the U of U hospital and their doctors and nurses for all the hard work they do.  I'm thankful for my amazing husband, parents, sisters, mother and father-in law, and Justin's siblings, and my other family members and friends who were able to visit me.  Lots of friends brought food for my family while they were sitting in the waiting room, and sent beautiful flowers and cards to brighten my room.  All of the prayers and warm wishes did so much to lift our spirits!  Thank you all so much!  I hope you know that nothing went un-noticed.  I am filled with so much love and gratitude for everyone who helped me out in any small way!